Discover the dopamine menu for ADHD and AuDHD

Creating a menu of dopamine friendly responses

The idea of creating a “dopamine menu” is relatively new, but the need to find ways access stimulation, novelty or comfort and containment is something many ADHD and AuDHD people try to do instinctively.

If you’re new here, I’m Laura, a counsellor, somatic practitioner and trauma therapist, and I specialise in working with people who have ADHD, AuDHD or Autism, as well supporting people to explore trauma and identity. As someone who’s AuDHD myself, I know how confusing and, frankly, exhausting it can feel to simultaneously crave stimulation while feeling overwhelmed by it. I also know how quickly shame can show up when we struggle with focus, task initiation, and the impulses that sometimes drive us.

Before I share more, I want to say that needing stimulation is not a failing. For many ADHD and AuDHD people, the nervous system is constantly trying to regulate levels of attention, activation, sensory input, motivation and engagement within environments that aren’t designed with neurodivergence in mind. In this post I’ll be exploring:

- The role of dopamine in AuDHD and ADHD experiences
- What’s different for AuDHDers
- Dopamin and peri-menopause and menopause
- a trauma informed perspective on impulsivity

What has dopamine ever done for me?

Dopamine is often frames as the brain’s “pleasure chemical,” but current neuroscience suggests that it’s more accurate to think of it as being involved in motivation, reward prediction, novelty, learning and goal-directed behaviour. ADHD is more complicated than “not having enough dopamine.” Research increasingly shows that ADHDers and AuDHDers experience differences in attention regulation, executive functioning, reward processing, sensory processing and nervous system regulation.

Many of us feel ashamed about the things we turn to when seeking stimulation, which can happen because:

• our brains feel under-engaged

• we’re overwhelmed and trying to quiet the noise

• we’re exhausted and looking for predictability, comfort or escape

• we’re emotionally flooded and trying to manage difficult feelings
  
  While responses like scrolling, watching TV for longer than feels supportive, turning to food, shopping etc can become distressing or dysregulating over time, I think it’s important that we approach them with curiosity rather than judgement.

Responses like scrolling, turning to food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, or any number of other things, can feel relieving in the moment, but reliance on these kinds of responses can feel distressing or dysregulating over time. I think it’s incredibly important to approach the ways we survive in the world with curiosity and compassion, and also I know that, on some days the only available response to the world, for me and my over and/or under-stimulated AuDHD brain, is to stay in bed and watch my comfort show for hours. And that’s ok.

While that’s true, I also believe that understanding the function of a behaviour is usually more helpful than shaming the behaviour itself, and that gives us an opportunity to make choice-based decisions.

The role of the dopamine menu

Creating a personalised menu can be a great way of getting clear on what feels supportive for you, in the moments where you might need support the most. When we’re already depleted, overwhelmed or under-stimulated, it can become much harder to work out what we need. Having a pre-prepared list of supportive options can reduce the cognitive load of figuring out what might help our systems to feel more engaged, regulated or resourced.

You’ll never, ever (ever!) find me talking about ‘productivity hacks’ or tools. This approach isn’t about you fixing yourself so that you can do more. Instead, it’s about creating a supportive structure that allows for decision making that’s rooted in choice, and your values.

Dopamine activities: quick supports (starters)

These are low-energy, accessible activities that offer small amounts of stimulation, grounding or regulation.

This might include:

• Listening to your favourite song

• Petting an animal or watch an animal video

• Splash cold water on your face or hands

• Step outside or stick your head out of a window and take five deep breaths of fresh air

• Use a sensory tool or fidget

• Holding something with comforting texture or weight

• One minutes of mindful movement, shaking, or moving in the silliest way you can think of

• Sitting or standing in a part of your space you don’t usually stand in, to stimulate novelty

Dopamine activities: deeper nourishment (main course)

These are the kinds of activities that can offer a more sustained sense of stimulation, engagement, pleasure, or nervous system nourishment for ADHD and AuDHD people. While quick dopamine hits can sometimes help in the short term, the following activities tend to support a sense of motivation, emotional connection, novelty, creativity or satisfaction over time.

These kinds of activities work best when they feel accessible. For many neurodivergent people, executive functioning demands like planning, transitions, decision fatigue or sensory overwhelm can be barriers to things that might be supportive.

Examples:

• Journalling in response to one interesting or emotionally resonant prompt, with a timer set for a manageable amount of time

• Movement that creates stimulation, regulation or pleasure in the body, like dancing to favourite music, swimming, walking while listening to a podcast or strength training with a motivating playlist

• Nature connection practices that involve curiosity, novelty or sensory awareness, like photographing plants, noticing seasonal changes, collecting interesting textures or visiting your favourite place in nature

• Energising conversations that create emotional connection, humour, novelty or shared enthusiasm

• Music-making, singing, playlist building or learning new songs

• Cooking familiar meals that feel comforting and rewarding, especially when enjoyment, creativity or novelty can be included without it being overwhelming

• Reading books connected to hyperfocus-interests, fantasy, novelty or curiosity

• Engaging with special interests, creative projects or learning rabbit holes that create a sense of excitement

• Therapy, peer support or neurodivergent community spaces that increase feelings of connection, validation, and shared understanding

• Intentional rest practices that feel pleasurable

Supportive layering (side dishes)

Sometimes tasks are more accessible when we add in some extra sensory or emotional support.

Examples:

• Listening to music while cleaning

• Body doubling

• Audiobooks during repetitive tasks

• Timers or visual supports

• Compression, weighted blankets or cosy clothing

• Turning tasks into games or challenges

High-dopamine or “easy access” activities (desert)

“In the same way I’d avoid assigning any kind of moral value to actual desert, I don’t think it’s helpful to frame these quick fixes as ‘bad’. Many of these activities genuinely help us regulate in the short term. That said, we probably wouldn’t live exclusively on actual desert, because we wouldn’t getting the nutrition we need to nourish our bodies. In the same way you might eat a balanced diet, the dopamine menu items you choose might need some reflection about what feels balanced for you.

High dopamine activities might include:

• Social media

• Gaming

• Online shopping

• Watching TV

• Snacking

• Fast-paced phone games

Rather than criticising your engagement with these kinds of activities, it can be more supportive to notice:

• How do I feel before, during and after this?

• What’s driving my decisions when choosing these items. You can read more about the difference between impulse and desire here.

• What does balance look like for me?

The AuDHD experience: when we need stimulation and safety at the same time

One of the things I think gets missed in conversations around ADHD is how different things can feel for those of us who are also autistic. AuDHD nervous systems can hold seemingly contradictory needs simultaneously. I often say that it’s like having two wolves inside of me, fighting for dominance. One wolf craves novelty and stimulation and seeks sensory input to find these things. The other wolf is overwhelmed by unpredictability and needs to withdraw from the world at regular intervals to recover from sensory overwhelm.

A way to respond to this, when you know that something’s going on in your system but you’re not sure what might feel supportive, is to check in with yourself about your levels of stimulation. The Valance Arousal Model can be a useful tool for this. If you’re in a high energy state, you might need more soothing menu items and if you’re in a lower energy state, you might need to bring some energy in. There are also suggestions in the Valance Arousal post about regulation strategies to respond your nervous system.

Peri-menopause and menopause in ADHDers and AuDHDers

It also feels important to acknowledge the impact that perimenopause and menopause can have on dopamine, attention, sensory processing and nervous system regulation for ADHDers and AuDHDers. Oestrogen plays a significant role in modulating dopamine and the other neurotransmitters that are involved in mood, motivation, executive functioning and cognition.

As hormone levels fluctuate and decline during perimenopause and menopause, many people notice increased ADHD traits, including changes in sensory sensitivity, emotional regulation difficulties, brain fog, fatigue, impulsivity or struggles with focus and task initiation. This shift can feel destabilising, especially if we’ve got to used to relying on coping strategies that suddenly stop working in the same way.

I think it’s important that we talk about this more compassionately, because many people internalise these changes as personal failure rather than recognising them as nervous system and hormonal shifts happening within a body that may already be working hard to navigate an overwhelming world.

This post by Dr Louise Newson goes into more detail about treatment options, although she doesn’t mention ADHD medications, and ADDittude Magazine offers a free guide to hormones and ADHD in women.

You also might want to think about tracking your dopamine needs across your cycle, as a way of helping you to develop a more responsive personal dopamine menu that considers the forms of stimulation that are likely to feel supportive during different phases.

Some final thoughts

For me, dopamine menus are most helpful when they move away from productivity culture and towards nervous system care, self-understanding and compassion. They invite us to build more awareness of what supports us, what drains us and what helps us to move through the world with more self-compassion.

I would love to hear how this post landed for you, and what your dopamine menu might look like, if you’d like to share.