Discover the dopamine menu for ADHD and AuDHD

Creating a menu of dopamine friendly responses

The idea of creating a “dopamine menu” is relatively new, but the need to find ways access stimulation, novelty or comfort and containment is something many ADHD and AuDHD people try to do instinctively.

If you’re new here, I’m Laura, a counsellor, somatic practitioner and trauma therapist, and I specialise in working with people who have ADHD, AuDHD or Autism, as well supporting people to explore trauma and identity. As someone who’s AuDHD myself, I know how confusing and, frankly, exhausting it can feel to simultaneously crave stimulation while feeling overwhelmed by it. I also know how quickly shame can show up when we struggle with focus, task initiation, and the impulses that sometimes drive us.

Before I share more, I want to say that needing stimulation is not a failing. For many ADHD and AuDHD people, the nervous system is constantly trying to regulate levels of attention, activation, sensory input, motivation and engagement within environments that aren’t designed with neurodivergence in mind. In this post I’ll be exploring:

- The role of dopamine in AuDHD and ADHD experiences
- Dopamine boosting activities that you might include in your menu
- Tweaking the dopamine menu for AuDHDers

What has dopamine ever done for me?

Dopamine is often framed as the brain’s “pleasure chemical,” but current neuroscience suggests that it’s more accurate to think of it as being involved in motivation, reward prediction, novelty, learning and goal-directed behaviour. ADHD is more complicated than “not having enough dopamine.” Research increasingly shows that ADHDers and AuDHDers experience differences in attention regulation, executive functioning, reward processing, sensory processing and nervous system regulation.

Many of us feel ashamed about the things we turn to when seeking stimulation, which can happen because:

• our brains feel under-engaged

• we’re overwhelmed and trying to quiet the noise

• we’re exhausted and looking for predictability, comfort or escape

• we’re emotionally flooded and trying to manage difficult feelings
  
  While responses like scrolling, watching TV for longer than feels supportive, turning to food, shopping etc can become distressing or dysregulating over time, I think it’s important that we approach them with curiosity rather than judgement.

Responses like scrolling, turning to food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, or any number of other things, can feel relieving in the moment, but reliance on these kinds of responses can feel distressing or dysregulating over time. I think it’s incredibly important to approach the ways we survive in the world with curiosity and compassion, and also I know that, on some days the only available response to the world, for me and my over and/or under-stimulated AuDHD brain, is to stay in bed and watch my comfort show for hours. And that’s ok.

While that’s true, I also believe that understanding the function of a behaviour is usually more helpful than shaming the behaviour itself, and that gives us an opportunity to make choice-based decisions.

The role of the AuDHD and ADHD dopamine menu

Creating a personalised menu can be a great way of getting clear on what feels supportive for you, in the moments where you might need support the most. When we’re already depleted, overwhelmed or under-stimulated, it can become much harder to work out what we need. Having a pre-prepared list of supportive options can reduce the cognitive load of figuring out what might help our systems to feel more engaged, regulated or resourced.

You’ll never, ever (ever!) find me talking about ‘productivity hacks’ or tools. This approach isn’t about you fixing yourself so that you can do more. Instead, it’s about creating a supportive structure that allows for decision making that’s rooted in choice, and your values.

Quick supports (starters)

These are low-energy, accessible activities that offer small amounts of stimulation, grounding or regulation.

This might include:

• Listening to your favourite song

• Petting an animal or watch an animal video

• Splash cold water on your face or hands

• Step outside or stick your head out of a window and take five deep breaths of fresh air

• Use a sensory tool or fidget

• Holding something with comforting texture or weight

• One minutes of mindful movement, shaking, or moving in the silliest way you can think of

• Sitting or standing in a part of your space you don’t usually stand in, to stimulate novelty

Deeper nourishment (main course)

These are the kinds of activities that can offer a more sustained sense of stimulation, engagement, pleasure, or nervous system nourishment for ADHD and AuDHD people. While quick dopamine hits can sometimes help in the short term, the following activities tend to support a sense of motivation, emotional connection, novelty, creativity or satisfaction over time.

These kinds of activities work best when they feel accessible. For many neurodivergent people, executive functioning demands like planning, transitions, decision fatigue or sensory overwhelm can be barriers to things that might be supportive.

Examples:

• Journalling in response to one interesting or emotionally resonant prompt, with a timer set for a manageable amount of time

• Movement that creates stimulation, regulation or pleasure in the body, like dancing to favourite music, swimming, walking while listening to a podcast or strength training with a motivating playlist

• Nature connection practices that involve curiosity, novelty or sensory awareness, like photographing plants, noticing seasonal changes, collecting interesting textures or visiting your favourite place in nature

• Energising conversations that create emotional connection, humour, novelty or shared enthusiasm

• Music-making, singing, playlist building or learning new songs

• Cooking familiar meals that feel comforting and rewarding, especially when enjoyment, creativity or novelty can be included without it being overwhelming

• Reading books connected to hyperfocus-interests, fantasy, novelty or curiosity

• Engaging with special interests, creative projects or learning rabbit holes that create a sense of excitement

• Therapy, peer support or neurodivergent community spaces that increase feelings of connection, validation, and shared understanding

• Intentional rest practices that feel pleasurable

Supportive layering (side dishes)

Sometimes tasks are more accessible when we add in some extra sensory or emotional support. Examples include:

• Listening to music while cleaning

• Body doubling

• Audiobooks during repetitive tasks

• Timers or visual supports

• Compression, weighted blankets or cosy clothing

• Turning tasks into games or challenges

High-dopamine or “easy access” activities (desert)

In the same way I try not to assign any kind of moral value to actual desert, I don’t think it’s helpful to frame these quick fixes as ‘bad’. Many of these activities genuinely help us regulate in the short term. That said, we probably wouldn’t live exclusively on desert, because we wouldn’t getting the nutrition we need to nourish our bodies. In the same way you might try to eat a balanced diet, when creating your dopamine menu, you might think about what feels balanced for you.

High dopamine activities might include:

• Social media

• Gaming

• Online shopping

• Watching TV

• Eating low nutrition (but delicious…) food

• Fast-paced phone games

Instead of criticising yourself when you engage with these kinds of activities, it can be more supportive to notice:

• How do I feel before, during and after this?

• What’s driving my decisions when choosing these items. You can read more about the difference between impulse and desire here.

• What does balance look like for me?

Tweaking the Dopamine Menu for AuDHD

One of the things I think gets missed in conversations is how AuDHD dopamine needs can feel really contradictory. I often say that it’s like having two wolves inside of me, fighting for dominance. One wolf craves novelty and stimulation, seeking sensory input to find these things. The other wolf is overwhelmed by unpredictability, needing to withdraw from the world at regular intervals to recover from sensory overwhelm.

When it comes to AuDHD and dopamine, menus often need a little more nuance. Many dopamine-boosting activities are also highly stimulating, which means something that feels great in one moment can tip us into overwhelm in another. If you're already highly activated or approaching sensory overwhelm, you may need menu items that feel more regulating: rewatching a favourite show, engaging with a special interest, listening to familiar music, spending time with a safe person, using comforting sensory tools, or spending time in a low-demand environment.

One way to check in with yourself, to work out what you might need, is using the Valance Arousal Model as a tool. The goal, when creating your menu, is to find forms of stimulation, interest, and pleasure that support your nervous system rather than pushing it beyond its limits.

Some final thoughts

For me, dopamine menus are most helpful when they move away from productivity culture and towards nervous system care, self-understanding and compassion. They can invite us to build more awareness of what supports us, what drains us and what helps us to move through the world with more self-compassion.

I would love to hear how this post landed for you, and what your dopamine menu might look like, if you’d like to share.